PaulThology

While flying up to St. Paul this past Thursday, I came upon a quote from a story in a speculative fiction short story, that went something like this…”Between birth and death is an unrelenting tedium spiced with the occasional sweet novelty.” And while we could not all agree on the ‘unrelenting tedium’ part, we could definitely agree about the novelty that lay ahead.

The reason for the 72-hour trip was for the WCHA Final Five, Kramer’s 30th birthday on St. Patty’s Day, and a generally acceptable excuse to pretend we were still tough young guys. It resulted in at least a dozen memorable moments (others are not worth publishing). For the insider jokes, I do not apologize and will not elaborate, as this is all the detail you’re going to get.

12. Watching three guys (Kramer, Matt, and PT) with just-mixed smoothies trying to figure out why they don’t taste so good now that they’re walking outside with wind chill temps in the mid-teens.

11. Walleye sandwiches at the Grand Tavern while wondering how six children under six years of age are being tamed without leashes or other medieval harnesses, and only helping by making sure our Guinness doesn’t get too warm or induce a spill hazard.

10. Matt’s taking on an oft ill-advised verbal spat with a jerk behind us during the first semifinal, defending his daughter’s vulgar-sensitive ears (who was some 1800 miles away at the time) and all other children within potential earshot, eventually working the guy over so bad that even his own friends admitted Matt was right, convincing their formerly invincible friend that the senseless vulgarity should be withheld from then on.

9. Three guys taking close to five minutes to figure out how to carry 18 leftover beers to a car after housekeeping took the cardboard the beer came in.

8. Kramer’s smug new attitude after going from “Wannabe CEO with box seats” to “Diehard blue collar in the cheap seats” with a “let’s just say a little ironing would do me good” new Sioux jersey

7. Wood Duck Dave and Dead Wood Duck Kramer

6. Mickey’s Diner, midnight Fri. night, PT to Patron sitting next to him (after receiving numerous repetitive and annoying phone calls from Devo, Kramer, and Dave): “My friends are so annoying, they just keep calling and calling when they’re drunk, getting on the phone like chicks! What do your friends do when they’re drunk?”
Patron: “They get ON fat chicks.”

5. PT, also at Mickey’s (to pretty much anyone that would listen): “Kermit doesn’t even look like a frog…Ribbit…hey, why you looking at me like that? You think I look like a frog or something?”

4. Matt bouncing at Grand Seven, without any rhyme or reason as to his selectivity of ID checking

3. Dave to PT at Chico’s Chicas after getting some random guy to buy him a vodka tonic: “If we’re gonna get out of here now, I have to duck around the other way so that guy doesn’t know I’m leaving”

2. Kramer to PT: “What does the M on your jersey stand for? My team sucks?!” (followed by PT’s pride-swallowing, nearly deafening silence)

1. Two words - Elevator Shaft