PaulThology

I’ve often said to colleagues and friends that reality tv is anything but…as the editors have the ultimate power in shaping the reality for the viewers.  Tonight I watched almost an hour of Bear Grylls on The Discovery Channel’s Man vs. Wild.  Not the first time, perhaps the last.  His editors and camera crews piece together footage with post-production voiceovers to tell a completely unbelievable tale.  My favorite part is the disclaimer at the end of the show, which includes the opening sentence “Bear Grylls and the crew receive support when they are in potentially life threatening situations, as required by health and safety regulations.”

I am curious about this and the following statement, which reads “On some occasions, situations are presented to Bear so he can demonstrate survival techniques.”

Translated by a viewer who had little problem with 7th grade honors English:

Bear is never really alone, or in any sort of danger that might threaten the viability of the show.  In fact, laws all across the world protect actors from the vicious videographers who will do anything to get advertisers true access to a highly segmented target audience. That music, though not part of the jungle experience if you’re there, increases the likelihood that we can consider this a life threatening situation. Sometimes several crew members claim to hear it in our heads when we are there.  Crew members often chew coca leaves on set, and are known to give Bear some wild dares, like jumping off of a speeding boat onto an cargo net hanging over the chilly urban seascape in Iceland, just in case you ever find yourself in a similar situation.

“The key thing is not to try to grab the net, but to punch through it.”

Survivorman doesn’t make for the best entertainmen, but at least it feels real.

I haven’t blogged in almost a year, but just may have found what I think to be the best business model I didn’t think of that will make a ton of money and piss people off and then go away like a lot of internet businesses do. The owners are mysterious, their WHOIS of course registered through Domains by Proxy, the “keep the ownership of your domain secret” folks.  A couple of job postings indicate the desire to hire web developers in Los Angeles.

BidFire.com. As unethical as it gets.  And from what I gather, not even an original business model.

You buy the ability to bid, not the commitment to pay that much.  It would be like raising your card at an auction…and the card-raising cost you money.  The best part…each time someone clicks “bid”, the cost of the item increase by a set amount, so you can’t remove bidders by paying more and removing the not so serious bidders.  Here’s an auction I’ve spent 15 minutes watching.  $500 Amazon gift card. The auction bids start at a nickel. In the auction I’m watching, it’s a $500 Amazon gift card.  In painful 5 cent increments, people keep paying between $0.87 (if you buy bids in bulk) to $1 (if you buy a low # of bids) to raise the bid just $0.05, and each time someone spends their hard-earned money on a bid, the bid clock resets to 45 seconds.  In this case, the item only needs to sell for $25 for BidFire.com to break even ($25/0.05).  If it sells for $499.95, less than cost to the winning bidder, BidFire will have taken home almost $10,000, and the winner may have had to sit through up to more than 5 days of watching the item (9999 bids at 45 secs. each).

In googling for “Bidfire scam” I found a Swoopo.com review, which offers what could be the same deal, it sounds like it, only bids are far below that all important $1 barrier at $0.75.  It’s been around since 2005, even featured in the NYTimes (criticized), according to Wikipedia.

They even use Sociallybuzz.com to generate tweets, which pays people to tweet about companies.  Clients of sociallybuzz.com are here…not really brands that have any value.

Scams.   Unless you heard about these sites in advance of their launch, with the limited number of products for sale, you are very likely competing for many others looking for a steal.  Game theory comes into play when the bidders are reduced to just a few (”I’d rather the other bidders compete and then I’ll jump in at the last minute and swoop up the item without paying a lot for it”), but that requires time and patience that will likely result in more users just getting fed up.

Both of these services require very little user loyalty, and actually feed off of the anonymity (and potential user base) of the internet.   Please avoid both.  Thank you.

As evidenced by the image above, CBS’ purchase/assumption of CSTV’s technology means someone might have been laid off.  Someone who might know that the upside down W represents Minnesota, not Minnesota-Duluth.  And that the only real bulldog in the Twin Cities is some U. of Georgia alumni whose seersucker pants draws many a curious stare at Lord Fletcher’s on Lake Minnetonka shortly after ice-out.

Gopher basketball was within a point of the Longhorns tonight with 8 seconds to go in the first half, but gave up a last second three, and failed to play with much purpose in Act II, losing by 14 in the first round of the NCAA tournament.

Gopher hockey season also likely ended tonight, 2-1 at the Xcel, which is easier to swallow knowing how much I wanted to be there (but wasn’t), as I was in 2006 and 2007.  When I’m there it always seems to end like this (2007), or like this (2002).  Do you think my presence really could make them play better?  The ol’ 8 ball seems to point to “yes.”

Looking forward to trying out Slacker…even though only with the G1.  For $50, we’ll see how it goes.  I always want to test things out, but today’s emerging tech has such high entry points.  Another thing I want to try in the not too distant future….over the air HD with my TivoHD.  But first I’ll need an HDTV and an antenna.  Why do I have a TivoHD you ask…in case I ever get HD! For now I’m still stuck in analog cable, standard def, 4:3 aspect ratio land…with RCA cables.

Pleased to have found the remote IR code to control our ancient RCA STAV-3970 receiver’s volume with our Tivo remote.  Turns out it was manufactured by Pioneer for RadioShack, so code 1001 works.  Using a combo of the TV volume and the 3 speaker setup seems to sound decent for someone whose idea of surround sound is to put big headphones on.

Does the Electoral map and the distribution of African Americans in this country make you think that whites in the south can’t vote for a black candidate?  Disconcerting, to say the least.  Obama takes lily white Iowa but can’t carry SC, GA, AL, MS, or LA.

The new Google Phone, aka the T-Mobile G-1, aka “Android”, reports the location of the caller on a map.  Better not lie where you are if your cell phone is reporting its position, and it’s likely your phone is giving you away.  “On my way home, honey, stuck in traffic.”  “Really, my phone shows you haven’t left the office.”  Doh!

What a difference a letter makes.  Chesney wins 4th CMA Entertainer of the Year, Cheney continues trek toward untold private wealth and public historical insignificance.  Eva continues career as star on Desperate Housewives, hardly a rookie where it counts, and Evan (Longoria) leads Rays to World Series as a rookie, takes AL Rookie of the Year honors.

Could classmates.com and reunion.com be more irrelevant?  Still based on a subscription model.  Facebook has eaten your lunch.  Go home and tell any advertisers you’re sorry.   Toshiba stopped HD-DVD fight vs. Blu-Ray a long time ago, yet classmates.com and reunion.com are still here?  It doesn’t cost anything to reconnect with high school friends who care almost as little about me as I did/do about them.

A big thanks to the Rays for silencing Red Sox nation this year, and saving us at least 2 hours of our lives, all of that time after midnight EDT.

The average game time of the LDS and LCS not involving the Red Sox this year was 3:06 per 9 innings, the games with the Red Sox 3:38.  Even if you remove the two Red Sox games that went beyond 9 innings, assuming you’re making some kind of argument along the lines of “extra innings always take longer than a regular inning due to the pressure and pitching changes”, their games were 3:28.

The World Series games averaged 3:21.  Given that they were 15 minutes longer than the average prior to that, is it fair to assume that a World Series involving the Red Sox would have approached a 4 hour game time average?  What is this, cricket?

On a side note, “hope” will not change this nation any more than it helped my Cubs this year, at they lost their 9th straight postseason game.  I was in attendance for their only postseason series win in my lifetime, a 3-2 NLDS win over the Braves here in Atlanta in 2003.

Any my apologies to the Rays, for having made them the butt of many a joke over the past decade, and they’ve now progressed farther than the Cubs have in the last 63 years.  But please get that “TB” off your hats.

Tues. afternoon, 9/16/08, Atlanta

“Hmmm, my calendar is empty Friday.  My Cubs ticket auction ends tonight, and no one is even close to the reserve price.  I wonder if my high school buddy could get us a deal at his hotel?  Fares…not too bad..$233 a piece, and with AirTran’s double credits deal, this would mean Miles and I would have a free flights to take come holiday time…”

That’s how it started.  Actually it started back in March, when my friend Matt and I lucked out, getting side by side singles (”that makes a pair!”) in the 2nd row at Wrigley behind home plate against the Cards in late Sept, the last homestand of the season.

“Just close your eyes and click ‘Buy,’ he reassured me.

Yes, we thought at that time we’d either use them ourselves, or sell them for a pretty profit.  I’m glad neither happened.  I got to spend two glorious days in the Second City (one of them a weekday) in Chicago last weekend.

Some bullets re: the itinerary
Fri. am - An early morning MARTA trip to Atlanta airport and ensuing flight
Arrived at Chicago Midway airport, on CTA orange line by 10:30 am
Arrived Fairmont hotel, where checking in early is obviously not a problem when the executive chef is your high school friend.

Off to Wrigley via CTA Red Line, arrived about noon.  Fought desire to sell tickets and spend the afternoon in Goose Island Brewery.

Game time was 1:20, got to greet Ryne Sandberg, who was the day’s guest of honor, doing first pitch and 7th inning stretch singing duties.

Score was 8-0 Cards by 2nd inning, my hex on Zambrano is no longer a theory…I’m watching his 2nd home loss of the season in 16 starts, having seen his first Aug. 9.
After the game, back to Millennium Park via train, went to Cloud Gate (that big chrome Bean that is the four year old “must see” for every tourist).  Miles found it rather boring after having seen it 6 weeks earlier.

Upon approaching, Miles claims another piece of silvery architecture is a roller coaster from back when the dinosaurs lived, and they used to ride it before humans were here.  Grooved for a few minutes at the World Music Festival in the Park’s Jay Pritzker Pavilion, specifically Richard Hagopian’s Kef Time Ensemble, described only as “traditional Armenian” music (I knew after a few measures that the 3-4 timing was clearly not “modern Armenian,” or “classic Armenian”…yeah right.)

But we had glove, bat, and ball, none of which work among blanket-bound tipsy folk and tippy wine glasses…so we walked to Butler Park to play baseball.

Then we went to the park’s playground, where darkness f-i-n-a-l-l-y fell. We walked back to the Fairmont, where Miles was dumbfounded by the many levels of streets of Randolph Drive.  We relaxed for about 45 minutes trying to catch the Ryder Cup highlights, where I thought Miles would certainly be done for the day.  Nope…he’s FOUR!  “Dad, can we go see that fireworks show?” I don’t recall having mentioned it, but I must have.

So we walked…to really wear him out.  It’s probably over a mile with the winding along the Chicago riverwalk and traversing the many leveled S. Wacker Dr.  And Navy Pier is long…maybe 3/4 of a mile?

We caught the fireworks celebrating Hispanic Heritage Month, which looked a lot like the Fourth of July fireworks we’re all used to…only that the boom sounds had rolling r’s…
We got ice cream, Miles announcing after his first taste of Mint Chocolate Chip that it wasn’t minty enough, and that he’d prefer to switch and have my Cookies ‘N Cream.  Whatever you want Mr. Miles.  We ended up at the Beer Garden at the end of the pier, and enjoyed almost half an hour of Los Vicios De Papa (’The Pope’s Vices’ in English), a Chicago-based Mexican Ska band.  They rocked the house, and we must have looked quite out of place dancing along the fringe of a clearly twentysomething Latino crowd after 10 pm on a Friday night, even if we couldn’t make out the lyrics.

We caught the last free trolley of the night, the last one of the year in fact, from Navy Pier back within a few blocks of the hotel.  Then we crashed like a couple of drunken fratboys.
We awoke fairly early and headed down to Aria, the hotel’s restaurant, where my high school buddy, the executive chef, joined us, and we did our best to catch up on the latest while being interrupted by dropped silverware and rhetorical questions from Sir Miles.

Then off to the Lincoln Park Zoo via the 151 bus, and spend time among animals Miles has never seen, or hasn’t since he was very little (Polar Bears, Jaguar, Hippo, Crocodile, Ostrich, etc.).  We decided to skip a second attraction back in Grant Park, and just play baseball outside the Lincoln Park Conservatory, where I am quite thankful that Miles did not hit into one of the sunbathers, who were probably surprised to see a late Sept. 80 degree day, but probably more surprised to find themselves in the basepath of a 4 year old baseball prodigy.

We departed at Randolph & Wabash from the 151 back in the loop, to our only problem of the whole weekend.  Station closed, walk 7 blocks to Washington & Wells.  Luckily there was a Dunkin’ Donuts, or I’m sure we might have perished…Thompsons lying right there in front of the Thompson Center.

The Sears Tower remained visible for most of our orange line trip back to Midway, and even after takeoff.  When Miles asked me before dozing off whether or not we would be able to see the Sears Tower from our house, I said “I wish we could see the Sears Tower from our house.”

A fitting close to a couple of days he might not remember, but I’ll never forget.  Pics (unretouched) are here, in the “Chicago Sept 08″ album.

I didn’t even go to Georgia Tech.  But I did enjoy years of working in Midtown in close proximity to the shanty at 14th and State that provided some of the best, if not truly authentic (so say the South Florida snobs), Cuban Sandwiches.

I called him Senor Ramirez, and have since learned his name was Silvesonso (I think he told it to me once and I couldn’t understand/remember it).  His wife died several years ago, and the place just wasn’t the same, though the sandwiches were.   I ordered un clasico todo el tiempo, con jalapenos, with CASH ONLY.  When was the last time you found a place where something was so good that people didn’t exercise a desire to choose?

Atlanta lacks a lot of places you won’t find elsewhere, and I’ll miss taking visitors to that place, because so many of us here are seeking the small cultural hotspots that define NYC, Chicago, SF, etc.

Just read the authenticity in the reviews here. God bless Senor Ramirez and his legacy. He had a brand without a brand.  A product that was too good for the glitz of a brand. And a brand of humanity.  Adios, KKG.

 Thanks to Fubuki on Flickr for the image.

In case my dwindling loyal reader base is wondering what I’ve been up to —

I don’t offer it up as an excuse for not writing, for I am much more concerned with the well being of my family than the well being of my blog, which can become healthy once again at any moment. 

Grooved to Citizen Cope at Center Stage March 6.  Now that ”Let the Drummer Kick” is in a Pontiac commercial (and Hem’s “The Part Where You Let Go” is the Liberty Mutual theme), I’m wondering what’s up…Mellencamp’s “This is Our Country” is Chevy’s anthem….what’s wrong with me?  I must only like artists whose music helps sell something else.

Easter in Cincy - It seemed far too early (March 23).  However, Miles and I discovered a great place to skate.  Next time we’ll bring our rollerblades and play roller hockey as well.  Guess we’ll have to buy some sticks there though, as I’m not into checking them through baggage, and although they’re not specifically banned as carry-ons, I think they’d fall under the “clublike items” umbrella.

Drafted my McCup team, the annual fantasy NHL playoff contest among the male cousins on my mom’s side.  I’ve been leading every day since the first week of April, but it looks like I will soon be overtaken, without any representatives from the PIT-PHI series.  Oh well, I still have a few weeks to admire it on my mantle before shipping it back to some smog-laden place in the northeast.

Spent 6th wedding anniversary (April 12-13) at this North GA cabin, which is brand new and cute.  Caught two wild rainbows right outside the back door, one 13″ and the other 15″.  No pictures, I dumbly left the camera’s memory card in the computer at home (But Laura was there to see it).  Oh, and it was a great relaxing weekend, even if it started out trying to find an unmarked cabin in the mud, dark, and rain of a Friday night outside Ellijay, with a wife who hasn’t even seen Deliverance from beginning to end.

Purchased a used SUV on Earth Day.  I’m going to hell.  At least I rode public transit to get there…if you can call C-Tran public transit.  It’s a far cry from the Gwinnett County Transit experience, kind of like MARTA strung out on meth.

Went to Bruce Springsteen at Philips Arena April 25.  That’s one show everyone should see at least once.  I lost my shorts as a ticket seller, next time I’ll just show up outside and buy before hand for about 15% of face value.  Though I’ve been lukewarm most of my life toward the Boss, he was excellent, and rocket for 150 minutes without so much as a water break.  Clarence Clemons did not look so good though, I’d be very surprised if he toured beyond this summer.

Euthanized our beloved MacKenzie (1994-2008), whose limited mobility had begun to affect her favorite pastime…eating.  Her last meal was fittingly a Kleenex tissue in Dr. Fowler’s office at Inman Animal Hospital.  They are angels over there.  As they are at Rex and Roxy’s in Decatur, who had all of the employees write a very sweet note.  Euthanasia means “good death,” and I’m fortunate to not be battling thoughts of doubt or regret.  She nearly reached 14, the magic age mentioned by Kipling.

Baptised 11 month old son Quinn in Richmond, VA.  Fun to see family, not so fun to have to come back to reality so quickly.

Booked summer reunion travel to Chicago.  Used Northwest WorldPerks on Delta airlines.  Don’t know if that’s only now allowed because of the merger of the two airlines, but was glad to be able to use them…it’s never easy to do.  I’ll miss the Northwest brand, I always liked them better than Delta, and the fact that they fly all over Alaska made those WorldPerks seem more valuable.  Now I just have to figure out how not to end up upside down on the Cubs field box seats I bought and don’t plan on using.

Now back to my life…which is bachin’ with the boys this weekend while Laura reunites with old friends down in Tybee.  And trying not to let the “government” in Myanmar and “president” of Zimbabwe keep me from thinking the world is going to hell in a handbasket, and it won’t have anything to do with Al Gore or his cause.

You really must try Photoshop Express.  2 GB of online photo storage, easy suite of simple editing tools, amazing response times with Flash Player 9…and it’s all free.  You can access your photos from Picasa, Photobucket, and Facebook.  I never wanted to pay for Flickr, never really liked Picasa, and haven’t tried Photobucket.  Facebook…I’m not in college anymore (though I do have a profile, for what reason I’m not sure)

So it’s not much of a review, but by the time you read a two paragraph review, you could have set up a free Photoshop Express account, imported all of your Picasa albums into Photoshop Express albums, and published them to their unique URL…though I don’t think you can set up absolute link paths to your individual photos (only to the album).

Forgive me…